Habit Change Starts with You
How Blaming External Forces Stands in the Way of Transformation
Understanding our brain’s operating system
As autumn trees shift their energy inward, they mirror our own capacity for renewal and growth. This seasonal rhythm reflects how our brains naturally cycle through patterns of change and adaptation – patterns that have shaped human behavior for millennia.
Through our work supporting coaches and exploring personal growth, we've encountered Dr. Loretta Breuning's illuminating research on how our brain's natural mechanisms shape habits and happiness.
Her insights reveal how understanding our inherited neural patterns can open new pathways to wellbeing. We're excited to share her "14 Days to Sustainable Happiness" plan with our community as we explore these concepts together. The link to download the free guide is at the end of this article.
The Ancient Wisdom of Our Inherited Brain
Our brain's architecture reflects millions of years of evolutionary success, crafting a biological operating system that helped our ancestors survive and thrive. While some philosophers like Rousseau romanticized pre-industrial happiness, our neurochemistry has always navigated complex trade-offs in pursuing well-being. From ancient hunter-gatherer societies to modern civilization, our brains have sought satisfaction through seeking rewards (dopamine), avoiding pain (cortisol), building social bonds (serotonin + oxytocin) and conserving energy (endorphines)
This inherited tendency to seek external solutions made perfect sense for survival. Various belief systems – from religious teachings to philosophical frameworks – represent different approaches to working with these inherent patterns. Rather than viewing them as limitations, we can understand them as tools that have preserved our species through countless generations.
Tip: Notice how your brain often focuses on unmet needs. Instead of letting this trigger frustration, practice “small wins” journaling each day. Write down one positive thing you accomplished, no matter how small. This activates dopamine and serotonin, helping you feel satisfied with progress, rather than focusing solely on what's lacking.
Working with Natural Patterns: Understanding Choice and Change
Dr. Breuning's research illuminates how our brains seek to meet needs through specific neurochemical pathways. We're biologically wired for certain short-term rewards, creating patterns often established in childhood. These patterns become our familiar routes to satisfaction, neither good nor bad but simply natural aspects of our life experience.
Our brains constantly navigate trade-offs between different types of satisfaction. When we understand this, we can approach our choices with gratitude rather than frustration. Pursuing long-term goals might mean temporarily sacrificing immediate pleasure – not a flaw, but a natural part of our brain's operating system. This understanding helps us make more informed choices about how we seek satisfaction.
Tip: The next time you find yourself stuck in a “comparison loop” with others, try a quick “gratitude reset.” Take a moment to list three things you're grateful for in your current situation. This simple practice can boost your oxytocin levels, promoting a feeling of connection and safety, and reducing the urge to compare.
The Power of Aligned Peers: Motivation Beyond the Individual
While personal growth is ultimately an individual journey, aligning yourself with peers who share similar goals can amplify your progress in ways that go beyond mere support. According to Dr. Breuning’s research, our brains are wired to respond to social rewards, which can be powerful motivators for change. Engaging in a group context that’s aligned with your goals provides consistent, small boosts of dopamine and oxytocin—two neurochemicals linked to motivation, trust, and satisfaction.
Unlike trying to force change in isolation, working with aligned peers creates a shared narrative and a sense of belonging. When you're surrounded by people who understand and validate your efforts, it’s easier to maintain positive habits, not because they’re magically fixing you, but because your brain is naturally more motivated when it experiences social reinforcement. This isn't about solving all your problems through community—it’s about leveraging our innate drive for connection to sustain momentum in your personal growth.
Consider joining or starting a group where the focus is on shared experiences and genuine curiosity rather than fixing or advising. When we celebrate small wins together, our brains release serotonin, reinforcing the joy of progress. Aligning your efforts with others on a similar path taps into ancient, evolutionary mechanisms that make change more enjoyable—and ultimately, more sustainable.
Tip: Build trust incrementally. Dr. Breuning notes that our brains respond to consistent, small moments of trust. Next time you connect with a friend or colleague, practice listening deeply without jumping in with solutions. These small acts of genuine connection help build oxytocin, which fosters feelings of safety and belonging.
Moving Forward: A Journey of Self-Discovery
Changes in our environment create opportunities to understand our brain's patterns better. Rather than waiting for external circumstances to force change, we can work with our natural neurochemistry to build new patterns of satisfaction. This isn't about dramatic transformation but rather about gentle adaptation and growing awareness. Understanding our brain's natural patterns opens new possibilities while respecting our evolutionary heritage. Instead of seeking perfect solutions, we can appreciate the trade-offs inherent in different choices. This journey isn't about assigning blame or forcing change – it's about accepting our neurochemical inheritance while recognizing our capacity to work with it more effectively. The path to contentment lies not in fighting our inherited patterns but in learning to work with them more skillfully, one choice at a time. Whether examining personal habits or supporting others' growth, this understanding provides a foundation for sustainable positive change.
Gain access to your FREE 14 Days to Sustainable Happiness Guide by signing up for the latest EvolveWell news along with updates from Dr. Bruening.
Loretta Graziano Breuning, Ph.D., is the founder and author who serves as Professor Emerita of Management at California State University. Through her experiences as both a teacher and a mother, she found herself questioning the prevailing theories of human motivation. Her curiosity led her to explore the brain chemistry of animals, and suddenly, everything began to make sense. Recognizing the potential of this information to benefit others, she dedicated herself to creating resources to share these insights. She is thrilled that her work has helped thousands of people.
